Selecting the Right Family Therapist

• Dr. Elsa Orlandini
• 10 years ago

When your family starts falling apart, sometimes the best thing you can do is seek professional help. With the help of a good family therapist, you can work through problems related to drug addiction, parent-child conflict, death in the family, severe or chronic disease, permanent or total disability, depression, isolation, teen angst, work/life balance and more. The main principle of family counseling or family psychotherapy is to improve the atmosphere inside your family, to make the bonds between you and your family stronger, and to enhance your relationships with other family members.

Family therapy is not an instant solution to all your problems. As a matter of fact, it can take more than one session to resolve serious family conflicts, especially divorce or drug addiction. On the other hand, there are not so many other ways to rebuild a family and to restore relationships of someone who has serious problems with other family members. If your children have stopped talking to you and you have no idea of what’s happening between you and them, family counseling can help you solve the problem. And in case one of your children or even your spouse has problems with drugs, the best way for your family to overcome this drug addiction is to call your family therapist.

General guidelines for picking the right family counselor

• A good family therapist doesn’t pressure you and your family to make a long term commitment to counseling
• On the flip side, a trust worthy family therapist will tell you how it is. If you don’t attend scheduled sessions, don’t follow through on the work, and don’t try to resolve the break the cycle of family issues, then you will be doomed to repeat it.
• The goal of a family counselor is to help your family return to its natural rhythm and harmony and then send you on your way. Family counseling is not something meant to last forever
• Ask your prospective family counselor how they have solved problems in the past. See if they have solved other family’s problems in a manner consistent with your own expectations and morals.
• Seek experienced and trained family counselors. This is not a skill one learns overnight.

Often enough, people believe that they can solve their problems on their own. This is why they try to avoid professional psychotherapists by all means. The truth is that you may or may not solve your problems without professional help. When trying to assess if a family therapist could help, ask yourself these questions:

• Do I keep facing the same problem over and over? In other words, do you have fights within the family that can never truly be resolved but rather repeat like the seasons of the year?
• Is there so much tension between you and your family members that having a calm and rational discussion on the trouble topic is almost impossible?
• Do you find yourself avoiding your family because you don’t want to feel uncomfortable?
• Do you or someone in your family feel like a stranger because you are so often away?
• Do you wish you could start over on a family problem but just don’t know how?

If you answer yes to one or more of these questions then family counseling could be right for you. We often have objections to seeking help. Many people want to fix their problems on their own. They don’t like the idea of airing the family dirty laundry in front of a stranger. These are valid concerns. Make sure you find a family therapist you trust. Remember, good therapists will never judge you. They will listen and work with you to discover a path forward to heal you and your family.

There is nothing wrong with seeking help. Often family problems become cyclical and constantly repeat. The last fight/problem lays the seeds for the next one. The family history becomes so tied to the future that without outside help you can’t break the cycle. It is for these reasons we recommend an impartial family counselor to help you in your time of need.