Write 10 things you can’t get enough of from your partner. What do they do best for you, your children, and others? Next, write down some things you would like to avoid from your partner. Try to be honest and fair but don’t attack.
Regardless of the situation, there are generally mistakes being made on both sides of the marriage. Even in situations involving infidelity there can be problems stemming from both sides. Be open and honest with yourself, what could you do better?
Often a marriage becomes so electric and confrontational one or both parties will close themselves off from each other. Maybe you start spending more time with your friends and avoid your partner. Or its your partner who decides to work extra hours every day.
Remember how you used to be when you first fell in love? How often did you go on dates? What did you enjoy most? Write it down. Share it with your partner. Try to recapture some of those emotions and be open to sharing them again.
Try to share your true feelings without a filter. You may worry that the truth will cause further fights or even hurt your partner. But without the truth the marriage can not be saved. Share with your spouse both the positive and negative emotions.
It may be hard to believe, but I have seen many couples, couples even married for years, who don’t truly know each other. They were hiding behind social masks and manners, too “polite” to be themselves. Do you understand what truly motivates your spouse? Take some time and get to know the real partner and share your true self as well.