Dr. Elsa M. Orlandini – a leading Miami-area psychologist and relationship therapist, offers expert insight into the underlying issues of the Ashley Madison scandal.
While many people are on pins and needles waiting to find out if their partners were outed as unfaithful by the Ashley Madison hack, we ask ourselves why infidelity is such a pervasive problem in our world. Many times in my couples and relationship counseling practice I get a call from a new client on the verge of a divorce or break up, desperately asking for an appointment to heal their marriage or relationship after infidelity is discovered. When I am asked if I can save the relationship, I have to respond with compassionate uncertainty, “It depends.”
As psychologists and relationship counselors we know that there are a plethora of variables that can help or hinder the healing of infidelity. Our work involves learning the strengths and challenges of the individuals and couple as a unit. The motivators to heal and earn trust again are important.
Frequently in therapy we work toward these goals to learn the infidelity resumed, or the motivation is fleeting or disingenuous. As part of the counseling process, we offer support and guidance to help couples learn the best way to continue their lives, together or apart while, helping to prevent perpetuating or worsening hurt.
Ashley Madison is only one way for infidelity to begin, and if we are concerned about infidelity the best place to start is with your partner. A one-to-one conversation every few months, where you check in and discuss how the relationship is, can help develop a great habit of relationship management. A concerted effort to address issues on an ongoing basis and finding fun ways to make the relationships spontaneous, kind, passionate and loving can prevent infidelity.
For those experiencing infidelity, a long road to healing may be present, but it can also serve as an opportunity to learn how to reconstruct or create a new, stronger relationship in the future.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What is the main message from Dr. Elsa M. Orlandini about infidelity and the Ashley Madison hack?
- Dr. Orlandini emphasizes understanding the underlying issues of infidelity, noting that healing a relationship post-infidelity requires exploring the strengths and challenges of individuals and couples. Ongoing communication is key to preventing infidelity.
- How does Dr. Orlandini suggest couples should address concerns about infidelity?
- Dr. Orlandini recommends having regular, honest conversations with your partner about the health of your relationship. This involves checking in periodically and addressing issues proactively to maintain trust and connection.
- Can relationships recover from infidelity according to Dr. Orlandini?
- Dr. Orlandini suggests that while recovery from infidelity is challenging and varies by situation, it is possible if both partners are willing to work on rebuilding trust and strengthening their relationship with guidance from therapy.
- What role can therapy play in dealing with infidelity?
- Therapy can offer support and guidance for couples dealing with infidelity, helping them learn to manage their relationship better, decide whether to stay together or part, and prevent further harm.
Sources
- Adultery Site Ashley Madison Targeted In Data Hack : NPR (npr.org)Jul 20, 2015 ... AARTI SHAHANI, BYLINE: Ashley Madison is an online dating site with a twist. (SOUDBITE OF TV SHOW, "THE DR. DREW SHOW"). UNIDENTIFIED MAN ...
- The Ashley Madison Bomb - FamilyLife® - A Cru Ministry (familylife.com)If your name is on the Ashley Madison list, or if you have some other secret infidelity like pornography or strip clubs, here are some steps to take right ...
- Brace Yourself for Ashley Madison's Impact on Church Kids - Juicy ... (juicyecumenism.com)Sep 1, 2015 ... The recent Ashley Madison hack leaves us watching marriages within the Church crumble before our eyes. But the betrayal of an affair doesn't just affect ...
- I Talked To My Cheating Ex After Finding His Email In The Ashley ... (buzzfeednews.com)Aug 19, 2015 ... I couldn't help myself. When I heard, last night, that the data dump from the Ashley Madison hack was online and searchable, I navigated ...