Google the cost of a divorce. Laura Seldon at Galtime.com suggests that if the couple has agreed on everything and just needs a lawyer to sign off, the price is as low as $300.00. A more realistic amount if the divorce is contentious is $15,000 to $20,000, which may be what the wedding cost. Both spouses have attorneys, but who represents the child or the children? No one! What if both spouses had to pay for an attorney for the children? What if neither spouse could ever be present when the childrens’ attorney consulted with them? What if all three attorneys had to be in court and with equal status at the same time to litigate the divorce? Finally, the real victims would have a voice.
What is a marriage? At its core, marriage is the most solemn promise you can ever make when children are the result. Children carry your everyday words and your everyday behavior to their graves and even pass them on to the next generation through your children’s children. Your unspoken marriage oath to your children does not end with a divorce.
Millions of children are unwilling victims of this divorce crisis, and the toll on them is often devastating. Pain is the symptom. The root cause of a divorced child’s pain is that the social unit that makes up the community in which the child’s identity develops, grows and is nurtured has dissolved because the promise both parents made when they brought the child into the world has been taken back and dissolved. Without the family the child is left exposed psychologically and socially. The child’s core sense of being can begin to disappear. Children of divorce question their own existence and even fear that they will dissolve just like the marriage dissolved because children lack a perspective and a life experience which establishes an identity. Adults have the power and the resources to reinvent themselves. Children of divorce do not have the resources to reinvent themselves.
So what is the real cost of a divorce to a child? Maybe their very sense of who they are.
Advice from a Miami family counselor: Celebrate the promise you made to your spouse everyday. Celebrate the unspoken promise you made to your children everyday.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What is the financial cost of a divorce?
- The financial cost of a divorce can vary significantly. If both parties agree on all terms and only require a lawyer's sign-off, it could be as low as $300. However, if the divorce is contentious and each party needs legal representation, the costs can rise to $15,000-$20,000.
- How does divorce impact a child's legal representation?
- In a typical divorce, there is no direct legal representation for the children involved. Both parents may have attorneys, but the children's voices often go unheard unless there is a separate arrangement for the child's representation.
- What are the emotional impacts of divorce on children?
- Divorce can have a devastating impact on children, leading to emotional pain and altering their psychological and social sense of identity. The breakdown of their family unit often makes them question their own existence and security.
- What obligations do parents have towards their children after divorce?
- Even after a divorce, parents hold a moral obligation to uphold their unspoken oath to their children. The responsibilities of nurturing and safeguarding their children's identities and well-being remain paramount.
Sources
- Divorce, Child Support, and Maintenance (illinoiscourts.gov)The Supreme Court Commission on Access to Justice has approved the following forms. All Illinois Courts must accept these forms. Scroll down below the chart ...