What do people fear? Some people are afraid of success, others failure, and others change, and some fear fear itself. “Lack of control” is a key component of this matrix of fear. Fear that stems from lack of control is one of most prevalent motivations that causes people to learn defensive coping strategies that are subconsciously designed to keep them safe.

More often these learned coping methods are overwhelming and destructive and prevent people from living healthy productive lives. “Pointing out to people how they are feeling a lack of control and how those feelings can, in fact, be illusory, can help them if they are dealing with an anxiety disorder.” Think of terrors as an opponent “with knowable patterns and actions, rather than something that happens … without cause or reason.”